Adult oriented book of humorous stories and bizarre jokes intended to offend most people. Weird and crazy "Top 10 -Top 20 -Top 25 Lists" and many "Lists of things you would NEVER hear a woman...or Man say". Most of the material was received by the Author, a High Tech Executive, via E.mail over the last 10 years, but many from everyday life. The author also includes a Short Story he wrote about a disabled (of sorts) Vietnam Veteran. The story of his disability and the exciting life of today's US Postal service workers. The story is totally fiction, as the author never worked in the Postal Service. Over the years the author collected over twenty-five 3.5" x 5" Diskettes full of the sickest, weirdest, grossest and funniest jokes, stories, lists and one liners every created. "There is something in this book to offend everyone!" claims the author. "This book contains samples of American humor in the 21st Century . Because one would be thrown in jail for printing some of the stuff 50 years ago!" Everything from 'Blonde jokes' to 'Little Johnny Jokes' to 'Letters from a redneck mom to her slow son', which begins "Dear Son, I am writing the letter slow 'cuz I know you can't read fast"...To a 'List of Computer Viruses....such as the 'O.J. Simpson Virus- You know it is guilty of trashing your hard drive, but you just can't prove it!'

The Blue Riders Club is based on a real-life group of philogynists living in modern day Europe who took their name from "Der Blaue Reiter," an expressionist art movement originating in Germany in 1911. The story begins with this posse of hand picked Lotharios being invited to Paris by a wealthy nightclub owner for an all expenses paid mystery rendezvous. As they arrive at the chosen location, each character is introduced to the reader, and it is revealed that this "dirty dozen of debauchery" is being assembled to help write a 21st century "seduction manual" to be presented to each of their sons on the occasion of their 21st birthday.

The book is the product of these brainstorming sessions and is an "Art of War" meets "Kama Sutra" style "bible" of seduction. The manuscript blends the philosophical musings of "Sophie's World," the humor of "Sex and the City," and the sexual candour of "The Bride Stripped Bare." It is a "boys'" own literary rebuttal to the multi-million copy bestseller "The Rules" in a unique mix of the narrative and "how to" genres, loaded with risque humor.

Each chapter is introduced with a transcript recorded during the meetings in a swanky Parisian bar. The dialogues are in the tradition of Plato's "Republic" however the subject matter and quirky verbal exchanges are more reminiscent of Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs. These humorous slices of real life banter between the characters serve as a relevant prelude to the theme of each chapter and make reference to famous artists, writers and scientists throughout history. They also explore the thoughts of great philosophers in relation to sex, and the characters' interpretation of their ideas.

Within each chapter, the "How to" element offers the layman practical strategies for meeting, attracting and bedding women successfully. Included are detailed methods of approaching and seducing women in any situation, the philosophies and psychology of attraction, proven tactics for dating, descriptions of sexual techniques and the makeshift sexual positions, and a comprehensive guide to specific nightclubs around the world. In addition to this eclectic instruction, each "player" delivers witty personalized tips and opinions on chosen topics to cover all the possible scenarios a girl-crazy reader may encounter.

You have found it! The book for everybody. You will be appreciated if you give this as a present at Christmas, birthdays, holidays or any day. Perhaps you would prefer to keep and read it yourself. Imagine the fun you could add to parties by launching into one of these witty verses.

As easy to learn as any nursery rhyme. Each page yells out to be recited at any gathering of people. Wheter you like to cheer people up with a fun filled present or become the soul of the party this book is for you.

The entertainer's nightmare is how to follow up if your audience cheer for more. No problem. Even when you finish reciting your favourite poem you will have an immediate encore prepared with a couple of jokes to follow.

This is the book for you or somebody you know and like.

In the planning stages I thought of making this book funny but as the writing continued I realized that to forget a Birthday or Anniversary will create a serious problem! Another problem which has been studied could be that in a moment of weakness you BUY a RACE HORSE. With these and other problems in mind, I combined excuses with situations and injected a lighthearted touch with realistic solutions.

A list of reasons, responses and excuses to the following questions that a wife will always ask: "Why?" "How are you going to pay for that?" "Where are you going to put it?" "What do we need that for?" "Whose stupid idea was that?" And last but not least "You forgot!" are all in this book.

Remember, a lot of grief is self made, so make sure to plan carefully, don't lie and definitely don't brag, especially if it will become PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE. A few exaggerations are possible but one of the greatest problems that the male species has, is his inability to remember precisely what was said and under what circumstances.

But your wife has total and perfect recall.

WARNING MAY CAUSE OFFENCE. NOT FOR SALE TO UNDER 18's

Laugh and the world laughs with Potty Poems

Do you like to laugh? Of course you do, we have never met anyone who does not enjoy a good old giggle now and then.

Do you have a good sense of humour? Well most people asked would claim they have.

It cannot be believed that anyone would enjoy going round with a face like a smacked a***,

So let our little book with it's big heart lighten up your life, put a smile on your face and add some fun to living by giving you the pleasure of purchasing and reading this very different and interesting book of Potty Poems.

POEMS! POEMS! Who the F*** reads poems but this Poetry is not written by Shelly or Keats these wonders were written by three down to earth brothers who just love taking the P, Who look at life as a laugh meant to be enjoyed and only to be taken seriously when absolutely necessary. Potty Poems books are full of toilet humour full of Wit and Sh** they are rude, crude, lewd and stuffed with bad language but who the F*** doesn't swear these days. Before you do decide to purchase this dynamic little book take heed to what we have said as some people will, may and often do take offence, so if this is or maybe the case then save your hard earned money as it is not our intention to upset anyone, also if you are under 18 years of age keep your grubby little hands off and do not write to us saying that you swear more than we do, WE ALREADY KNOW THAT.

IF YOU DO PURCHASE AND ENJOY POTTY POEMS TAKING THE P, LOOK OUT FOR THE FOLLOW ON SERIES. THERE ARE MORE TO COME

Excerpts

Author Rick Murphy is truly honest in his approach to dating women. "The Naked Bitch" is written in a casual, locker-room style dialogue that makes for easy reading and easy learning. The author teaches the reader how to perfect his scoring opportunity in a witty, but logical manner. This is definitely the perfect handbook for those men trying to re-learn the art of dating in today's more competitive "market". This book promises to enhance your social life by showing you how to take home even the most beautiful women. The night you spend at home reading "The Naked Bitch" may very well be the last one you spend home alone!

WARNING MAY CAUSE OFFENCE. NOT FOR SALE TO UNDER 18's

Laugh and the world laughs with Potty Poems

Do you like to laugh? Of course you do, we have never met anyone who does not enjoy a good old giggle now and then.

Do you have a good sense of humour? Well most people asked would claim they have.

It cannot be believed that anyone would enjoy going round with a face like a smacked a***,

So let our little book with it's big heart lighten up your life, put a smile on your face and add some fun to living by giving you the pleasure of purchasing and reading this very different and interesting book of Potty Poems.

POEMS! POEMS! Who the F*** reads poems but this Poetry is not written by Shelly or Keats these wonders were written by three down to earth brothers who just love taking the P, Who look at life as a laugh meant to be enjoyed and only to be taken seriously when absolutely necessary. Potty Poems books are full of toilet humour full of Wit and Sh** they are rude, crude, lewd and stuffed with bad language but who the F*** doesn't swear these days. Before you do decide to purchase this dynamic little book take heed to what we have said as some people will, may and often do take offence, so if this is or maybe the case then save your hard earned money as it is not our intention to upset anyone, also if you are under 18 years of age keep your grubby little hands off and do not write to us saying that you swear more than we do, WE ALREADY KNOW THAT.

IF YOU DO PURCHASE AND ENJOY POTTY POEMS TAKING THE P, LOOK OUT FOR THE FOLLOW ON SERIES. THERE ARE MORE TO COME

Excerpts

The Blue Riders Club is based on a real-life group of philogynists living in modern day Europe who took their name from "Der Blaue Reiter," an expressionist art movement originating in Germany in 1911. The story begins with this posse of hand picked Lotharios being invited to Paris by a wealthy nightclub owner for an all expenses paid mystery rendezvous. As they arrive at the chosen location, each character is introduced to the reader, and it is revealed that this "dirty dozen of debauchery" is being assembled to help write a 21st century "seduction manual" to be presented to each of their sons on the occasion of their 21st birthday.

The book is the product of these brainstorming sessions and is an "Art of War" meets "Kama Sutra" style "bible" of seduction. The manuscript blends the philosophical musings of "Sophie's World," the humor of "Sex and the City," and the sexual candour of "The Bride Stripped Bare." It is a "boys'" own literary rebuttal to the multi-million copy bestseller "The Rules" in a unique mix of the narrative and "how to" genres, loaded with risque humor.

Each chapter is introduced with a transcript recorded during the meetings in a swanky Parisian bar. The dialogues are in the tradition of Plato's "Republic" however the subject matter and quirky verbal exchanges are more reminiscent of Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs. These humorous slices of real life banter between the characters serve as a relevant prelude to the theme of each chapter and make reference to famous artists, writers and scientists throughout history. They also explore the thoughts of great philosophers in relation to sex, and the characters' interpretation of their ideas.

Within each chapter, the "How to" element offers the layman practical strategies for meeting, attracting and bedding women successfully. Included are detailed methods of approaching and seducing women in any situation, the philosophies and psychology of attraction, proven tactics for dating, descriptions of sexual techniques and the makeshift sexual positions, and a comprehensive guide to specific nightclubs around the world. In addition to this eclectic instruction, each "player" delivers witty personalized tips and opinions on chosen topics to cover all the possible scenarios a girl-crazy reader may encounter.