This is a story set in Lusaka, Zambia, about Martha, a woman who had been entrapped in an abusive marriage. Her husband, Gerry, had been cruel to her and to the child Martha had had before she met and married him. When she conceived their second child together, he had forced her to have an abortion saying he loved their first child too much to love another. He was blatantly unfaithful, often taking his girlfriend home when Martha was at work, in full view of their children.

Suffering the dilemma of having to decide what was best to do for her children's sake, she tried to bear her woes as best as she could. She revived a relationship with an old boyfriend thinking it would give her satisfaction but found out that it only made her feel worse. She finally mustered enough courage to divorce her husband once she realized things would never get better.

Once on her own, Martha tried to catch up on things she had longed to do since leaving high school. She had always loved music and she contacted a local hotel about singing there at the cabaret shows they gave. She started singing there, balancing her time between her secretarial job and her music. With support form relatives and friends, she was finally coming out of her shell and blossoming. Then Martha meets a man who promises to help her with her music if she would give up her day job to become a professional musician.

This book is about a family of 15 living in Australia and the experiences they each went through during the childhood years, and as they were growing up. Told by each of them individually, it's a unique perspective of not only their experiences as they remembered them but also their families perspective of them.

For many years now I've told stories about my childhood, and oftentimes someone would say, "you should write a book!? Well here it is, a memoir, as I see it, growing up in Australia. A narrative of our lives and a keepsake to hand down to our children, and our grandchildren.

We frequently ask ourselves questions about the past, but all too often it is forgotten, as if it never was, and our memories are replaced by more recent events. They are often only aroused when reminiscing with loved ones. Throughout this book you will find stories coming from my senses, the way I remember them, but my family have also contributed. For when I told them what I was doing, they were inspired and spurred on to also look into their past. After the chapter I devoted to each of them, you will find their own memories.

On recollecting past events, we often found ourselves contradicting each other, however this wasn't because of our uncertainties about the past, but rather the age of the person at the time of the event. For no matter how I see things, these thoughts coming from my senses, can be seen so different in the eyes of someone else. So different in the eyes of a sibling much older or younger, in a family with thirteen children.

Because of the Aussie jargon and the different way in which we spell some of our words, I have included a glossary of words in the back of the book.

My memories of our past start with our mother Thelma (affectionately nicknamed the Colonel by her sons-in-law), followed by our father Bill, our stepfather Bob, then my siblings descending from the oldest Coral, to Shane the youngest. The account of incidents and events throughout each person's memories are in no particular order, and were written as they came to mind, but not all of my family shared their memories; not for lack of wanting to, but rather a shyness in reflecting their feelings on paper or because they had passed away.

Life was full of adventure, sadness, confusion and drama in our house, but I guess it depended on how old you were at the time, that made them adventurous, sad, confusing or dramatic events, and when I think back to our childhood years, I'm caught between pain and laughter. Pain when I think of things I would rather forget, and laughter so great, it brings tears to my eyes. With so many different personalities in the one household, things weren't always as they appeared, but it wasn't until years later when reminiscing that we realized just how all of our personalities intermingled and made us into the secure and determined people we are today. We each resembled our parents, but we were different in our own small, but distinct way. Myself, I'm smack bang in the middle of six boys and six girls, and although we were never well off, I often thought we were, because of our closeness. We had a lot of joy in our lives, and we were never short of love and support for each other.

A comparison of life in African and Western communities. Highlights the unfortunate downturn in the West, where family values may be set aside in pursuit of material wealth. Failure to achieve often leads to frustration, disenfranchisement and murder. Relations kill each other to either get even or call attention to themselves.

"Trouble in Kittyville" addresses the issue of sexual abuse perpetrated by children. This is a disturbing subject, causing even some therapists to avoid dealing with it. When it occurs within a family, attitudes and perceptions about sexual abuse perpetrators must be examined in detail.

Society's prevailing attitude toward adults who sexually abuse children is angry revulsion, accompanied by a sincere desire that they be removed from society, thus ensuring the public safety.

When children abuse each other, the paradigm shifts. The strong negative emotions felt towards adult abusers are not helpful when both victim and perpetrator are young children, perhaps siblings. Families may be at a total loss to know to begin to deal with the situation. In addition, the false societal assumption that only males abuse vastly increases the difficulties for those who are abused by females. In some families, tragically, the method of coping is total denial. This helps no one. For in truth, the question in such situations is not, "How can we inflict the most punishment possible?" but "What can we do to help these two victims heal, and how can we help prevent further victimization of and by either of them?"

Professional help is a must as the family begins its healing journey. This process can be lengthy. Unfortunately, in today's healthcare environment, insurance coverage for mental and emotional health is limited- in some cases so limited that effective treatment is nearly impossible.

Although professional guidance is necessary for its proper use, "Trouble in Kittyville" is a unique concept in that when the story is read to the child by the parent, the parent in effect becomes the therapist. Use of this material in brief-therapy treatment can both conserve resources and enable a family to heal.

Its purpose is to educate, encourage, and empower children and their parents- to teach children that they can say NO, that they can run, that they can bite, scratch, kick and scream when faced with a threatening situation. It is to be used to ease the emotional pain of the victims of sexual abuse and to alleviate the lack of understanding that paralyzes families when the child-to-child abuse occurs. This book can help speed along the healing of the emotional wounds caused by these tragic events.

For more information, please email the author at swestbridge@yahoo.com.

Women are the Victims
Men are the Solution

Men's Violence Prevention holds a promise that is both crucial and largely unfulfilled in our society. When we re-cast men as the solution to the problem of interpersonal violence rather than merely viewing them as perpetrators, we create unprecedented opportunities for action and change. Most men are repulsed by violence against women. As natural allies with women, they can break the cycle of male violence. Our task is to create ways to touch their innate benevolence and inspire them to stop rape and abuse. We must never lose sight of men's futures as teachers, coaches, jurors and, most importantly, fathers who will mentor their sons in life-affirming ways.

Re-energize your violence prevention efforts and learn:


• Innovative violence-prevention techniques designed to inspire men to prevent rape and abuse
  
  
• The three keys to keeping men involved in sustained programs
  
  
• How to use music to engage boys and girls in violence-prevention peer education

This is the story of a young girl's heartbreak, firstly shattered by those around her calling her 'night-ape' and 'problem child', and then in the cruellest of ways seeing her trust smashed upon the rocks of life when she was raped by the very man/boy she gave her most treasured possession... her heart.

The mould was set; Cheryl's parents often challenged her identity within the family because they said she made their lives miserable and intolerable. Raised in a well respected family in the town of Umtali, Rhodesia, her parents slept away their embarrassment and disgust at her being raped, whilst Cheryl hugged her bruised body and soul, and the shame close to her.

The broken and spiritually ravaged Cheryl survived the Rhodesian War, and the loss of people she loved. As a victim, she attracted abusers, and married a cruel, controlling man. As a refugee in South Africa, unwelcome and unexpectedly pregnant her life spiralled into despair and emotional isolation.

After years of abuse, Cheryl divorced her alcoholic husband and began a new life with her two children. Five years later, he returned, sober and kind, she remarried him, and they relocated to England. He betrayed her again with alcohol, and Cheryl gave up. She reverted to the role of victim again, and drank her despair and pain away; she shunned reality and life, and crossed the threshold into oblivion.

In her own words, Cheryl tells how she went to hell in a nightmare relationship, and fought back to become a successful author.

Daniel is a ten year old boy that has witnessed domestic violence and also has had to try to live up to unrealistic expectations from his father.  His Brother is good at sports and the father tends to favor him more than Daniel.  Daniel finds that he isn't good at the traditional sports but loves to skateboard with his friends.  Daniel has been getting into a lot of fights at school as a result of everything that is going on in his life.  Feeling responsible for the fighting between his parents and not feeling that he is very good at anything...Daniel begins to think about suicide and that he would rather be dead than live and that maybe his family would be better off without him.  In this story you will see the contributing factors to Daniel's thoughts of suicide and what things he does to give off early warning signs that something isn't right with Daniel and how everybody comes together to begin the healing process.

• Who is a victim?
• Why do men and women stay in the relationship?
• How can I know if I'm in an abusive relationship?
• Planning your escape?
• How do I know if he or she has changed?
• What is co-dependency?
• How will I know the warning signs?
• Can I re-build my self-esteem and image?
• Who do I call for help?
• And much more!

• Lack of Love
• The Cycle Begins
• The Abuse: Power and Control
• Transition
• The Healing Process
• And much more in Between!

This is the story of a young girl's heartbreak, firstly shattered by those around her calling her 'night-ape' and 'problem child', and then in the cruellest of ways seeing her trust smashed upon the rocks of life when she was raped by the very man/boy she gave her most treasured possession... her heart.

The mould was set; Cheryl's parents often challenged her identity within the family because they said she made their lives miserable and intolerable. Raised in a well respected family in the town of Umtali, Rhodesia, her parents slept away their embarrassment and disgust at her being raped, whilst Cheryl hugged her bruised body and soul, and the shame close to her.

The broken and spiritually ravaged Cheryl survived the Rhodesian War, and the loss of people she loved. As a victim, she attracted abusers, and married a cruel, controlling man. As a refugee in South Africa, unwelcome and unexpectedly pregnant her life spiralled into despair and emotional isolation.

After years of abuse, Cheryl divorced her alcoholic husband and began a new life with her two children. Five years later, he returned, sober and kind, she remarried him, and they relocated to England. He betrayed her again with alcohol, and Cheryl gave up. She reverted to the role of victim again, and drank her despair and pain away; she shunned reality and life, and crossed the threshold into oblivion.

In her own words, Cheryl tells how she went to hell in a nightmare relationship, and fought back to become a successful author.

Not Even In Your Dreams is a powerful story about the conflicts between children's rights and parent's dreams. The reader is taken directly into the arena of conflicting attitudes on children's rights, where children become the victims of the dreams of their warring parents.

Told from the perspective of one of the children, the reader becomes a silent witness to the attitudes about children's rights as experienced by American children who find themselves in an African child's reality.

The story tells us why a loving mother ends her marriage to a supportive husband and father in order to find a better life for herself and her children. We learn about why parents are motivated to take drastic action against one another and the pain it causes their children. In this story, we learn why a desperate mother kidnaps her children from their father's custody to send them to live with a new husband in an African country.

Other highlights of the story are the children's conflicts over dividing their loyalties between their parents, their country of origin and their newly adopted culture, and the abuse they suffered at the hands of their new stepparents. The major highlight, however, is their miraculous return home to their father, family and friends in the USA.

Not Even In Your Dreams is a story for people of all ages.